Getting Healthy, Not Just Losing Weight

So, I've done the weight loss roller coaster. I have lost weight with a very low carb diet... but it was not very healthy. I lost a lot of hair while doing the Atkins diet, and while I tried biotin for the hair loss... it didn't seem to work.

I need to acquire a taste for healthy food.

My problem is, I love the taste of french fries... candy bars... fast food.

I hate taking time to make a healthy, nutritious meal for myself.

I've learned to make time for everyone else... but when it comes to me, the faster the better.

This is a wrong way of thinking. I do know, ultimately if I continue this vicious cycle... others will be spending more time on me because I will end up in a hospital with health problems.

I already am out of breath easily when going walking distances.

So, on this endeavor... I really need to learn to put time aside for me.

Not in a selfish way... but in a healthy way.

Wii Fit?

So, I'm thinking about getting a Wii after all the good things I keep hearing about the Wii and the physical work out you can do on it... what do you think of the Wii Fit?

I know there are a couple different games for Wii... what would you suggest?

Truth Or Fiction?

Okay, I could totally sit here and lie - saying I have been working out and eating healthy. LIES, LIES, LIES.

I'm not going to lie. I've been sitting at the computer too much. I've been laying around, napping. Feeling blah and I am sure it's because of my unhealthy eating habits and my gloomy outlook on life lately.

For those of you who do not know me, my husband can no longer drive because a head injury has caused him to have seizures. He has to be eight months seizure free in order to drive, and that has not happened yet. So, I have to play taxi driver. I drive him to places he needs to go, I sit in the van and wait for him. I take him to doctor appointments and everywhere he needs to go.

I tend to my kids, take them to activities and school. If I want "me" time - it has to come early in the morning or after I am done running everyone here or there.

I have tried to schedule "me" time, but because of my husbands unknown work schedule it is just about possible to make a plan and stick with it. In the next couple of months, my husband will be medically retiring... but for now, I am in limbo. For the past year and a half, I have been in limbo.

Now that I have all of that off of my chest... I really want to make a positive change in my life. I realized today, while talking to an old friend - I am 35 years old, I am not getting any younger. If I don't watch it - I'm going to be a fat 50 year old with heart problems who is on oxygen.

I really do not want anyone to take this blog as me whining.... I do enjoy putting my children and my husband first... but, I also know that I need to take care of me in order to take care of others.

So - now that I have your attention... follow me on my journey, help cheer me on! :)

Still Nothing To Report Here

Here we are into April. Getting to be late April. One week until my 35th birthday. I am still no closer to my weight loss goal than i was 4 months ago. I got off to such a great start in January. But then with this move and all the eating out and being in transit for so long, i lost track of all i was doing. I can't really blame any one but me for it. I could have found a way to do some sit ups and such in hotel rooms. I could have made smarter choices in my dining out. Really, why bother blaming others? No one force feeds me. No one makes me watch tv instead of doing something every day. No one tells me to be lazy. I just don't know what's gotten into me lately. I have NO desire to do anything. Then for dinner tonight, instead of cooking something like i definitely should have, i just had to have take out. I could have gone with something like chinese, or salads or something reasonable. But i had to have chicken. Fried chicken. Greasy yummy fried chicken. It was good, of course, but i felt ill not long after i ate. And even though my stomach hurt from all the greasiness of it, I'm still not actually hungry again, i can't stop thinking of the chicken. There are more pieces in the kitchen and i'm thinking one of those legs can't hurt. Although realistically i know one fried chicken leg from Popeye's is probaly hundreds of calories. And really it will hurt. But i'm consumed by it. And to top it all off, i'm already thinking that taco's would be GREAT tomorrow. I'm already thinking of tomorrow! What is wrong with me! I seriously have that syndrome that over eaters have......i can't stop thinking of food. To make it worse, i've noticed that my oldest daughter is just like me. I wanted her to be like me in so many ways, but this one was the last thing i wanted! How do i break this cycle? It's up to me to break it. but i need to figure out how. I feel as though i am definitely at my lowest point. Now how do i go up? How do i find my will power?

It's March Already!

Actually it's getting near mid-March now. Things arent going well on the weight loss front either. Living in hotels and traveling so much, i haven't had a decent,healthy, homecooked meal in ages! Even staying with family last week, we ate out a lot and ate some unhealthy meals at their homes. I haven't been able to weigh recently, but i have measured and was very unhappy with what i found. This pic was taken this past Sunday, March 8. It was our last day in Tennessee with Jay's family. It was such a beautiful, though windy, day out. We took all the kids to the park to play. Jay's brother, Shawn, thought it would be fun to go to the ball field and have a little mini-game. It was fun! I used to play softball in my younger years. I miss doing things like this. I found that i can still hit quite well, but my running leaves a lot to be desired. Of course i had on denim capri's and flip flops too. Kinda hard to run. Wouldn't have made a great difference though if i had been in shorts and tennis shoes! I am so out of shape! The next day my body was so sore! I kept trying to remember what i had done to cause me such pain, then i remembered this game! We had a great time playing. I just need to do it more often! I'm hoping we can get a home really soon now that we are in GA. I'd love to have one with an area that i can walk in every day. I've seen some places around here like that. On post there are sidewalks and playgrounds and all sorts of things. Off post, i looked at a house yesterday in a nice neighborhood where i could walk. I've gotta do something though. I can tell that all the work i had done earlier this year has come all undone now and i hate it! I had gotten off to a good start! So here's hoping i get a house soon and can get back on track!

What a Month!!!!

I can't believe we are almost through February. We all start January all gung-ho about this new weight loss plan. We are so excited to get going on it and have a healthier new year. Then February hits and we are starting to slow down. By this late in February, we are really struggling. I know I am! I'm still working on it, but truthfully, not as faithfully. There has been so much going on I just haven't been thinking about it too much. We aren't eating out very often so it's not fast food issues. I did go out for lunch today. But we had subs and i had grilled chicken. So not too bad! No mayo or oil or anything on it. But i did have to have my provolone! HAHA I really haven't made any progress since January. Just maintaining. I am hovering between 189 and 191. Just drifting from one to the other every few days. Now with us moving all we will be eating is take out or fast food. They are packing up all my stuff now so no more cooking! I am hoping we can choose some places to eat that have healthier options. If there are some.....you know how eating out can go! So no real update here.....weight is basically the same. Measurements are staying the same too. Hopefully after this move is done, i can make some real progress! Then i will be in an area that is warmer so i can get out more often! Yay for that! Update again after the move. Hopefully with progress.

Lord Give Me Strength!

I was off to a good start. I have really been trying hard to stay on track. I weighed again this morning and was still at 189. But then i measured and although on Sunday, my normal weigh and measure day, i was down--today i was back up some. Sunday i had gone down another 1/4 inch. It was at 40.5 so i was happy. But today i was back at 41.5. Of course over the weekend my hubby wanted pizza. I only had a couple small slices. I didn't eat 4 or 5 like i did in the past. I ate 2. Extra cheese and all unfortunately. Today i went out to lunch with friends. I wanted to behave and have a salad. But i ordered the nachos. They just looked soooo good! I never get any form of mexican food around here unless i make it myself. So i couldn't resist. They were soooo worth it in my head, but my body has been rejecting them since they went down. I couldn't even eat them all. I feel like i am making all the wrong decisions food wise this week. I have noticed though that i can only eat small amounts before i am so full! and i am eating slower. I'm trying to concentrate on chewing each bite and thinking about all the flavors in each bite instead of just shoveling it in. I realized the other day I hadn't eaten in hours and hadn't even thought about what my next meal would be. That's new for me. I've been one of those over eaters who thinks about food constantly for so long that i would just finish one meal and already be thinking about the next. I have known times when i would eating one meal and thinking about my next. I've realized lately though that I just don't think about it that much. I'm so happy about that! In my last post, I said that one of the reasons i have had a hard time with losing is because of other people's reactions. Today i was at lunch with my friends and when one of the girls walked in, i was happy by what she said. I haven't seen B since May. At that time i was about 7 pounds more than i am now. In the grand scheme that's not much. But she walked in and as we were standing and talking she said "Look at you! You have lost some weight since i last saw you! You look so good! How are you doing it?" The way she said it though....wasn't like shock.....it was like genuine and she really wanted to know because this is something she also struggles with and is considering surgery to help. I actually smiled. I want to keep going now because i want to smile like that again!